Are you familiar with the one word for a year concept? The idea that you select one word or phrase to focus on for the year. To see what God reveals to you regarding this one word, to grow and mature through this focus. It could be joy or rest or connect or anything at all.
Truthfully I usually forget my word by March or add more or change in it. Im not very good at staying focused to just a single thing for a whole minute let alone an entire year. Last year I started with content and ended up adding both cultivate and fallow. I'm still pondering these ideas and probably will be for a while.
So because I'm not very good at this one word commitment I didn't think I'd bother this year. But then someone quoted a piece of scripture to me and it stayed in my head, rattling around and wanting to be unpacked.
Behold, I am making all things new.
At first, I considered exploring the word behold. It's a grand sounding word, but I once I started looking at it I disccovered it doesn't have much meat on the bone. So, I turned my attention to the word new.
I threw the word into my Bible app search engine and that's it. That's my word. New.
It feels like a dumb word to pick. Like, yeah, okay new, duh, what a concept. But I have this feeling there's something to be unpacked here that will have deep value. Maybe not to the whole world or anything, but to me.
And that's sorta the point of this whole one word thing. It's not about impressing people with how much you grow or know. It's about diving into something deep with Jesus and letting him teach you what you need to know. I'm not a relativist so I think His truths are truths absolutely. But I think what I need to mine out of the word new for 2020 will be deeply personal, and what you need to mine with the Lord will be personal to you. After all, God is a personal God.
I remember learning in a college course called Great Ideas that the God of Abraham was different from all other gods in the ancient world because he was personal. Abraham's God went with him, no one else's god would do that. It was unique and it made people incredulous. Someone like me who has grown up in the church and known Jesus all my life takes it for granted that God is a personal guy. Sometimes it becomes so familiar that it's just a line item in my religion rather than a truth that shapes my reality.
And then, this personal God, does something to remind me, to wake me up, to show me that He is paying attention and He knows me. The stories I could tell. Someday I'll have to tell you about the fire files of 2016. But in this case, he used words. Words spoken to me and His Holy Word. Words that propel me to seek out a fuller meaning to a familar word. Words that prompt me to think, to speak, to write. How fitting he should use words, he knows I love them.
In fact, I had intended to only use Isaiah 43:19 (See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland) but when I recorded it I didn't like how it sounded. So, I did what I should've done in the first place and I looked at the context. I pulled up the whole chapter and the verse directly in front of it says, forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. And just this morning, I was talking about how I tend to dwell on the past and so there isn't room for new things. Isn't God funny? I actually laughed when I read those words because this is just God telling me to let go of the past because he is doing a new thing.
So, that's my word. New. I'm launching with the concept of "new things" but God only knows where we're headed here.
Then He who sat on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.” And He said to me, “Write, for these words are true and faithful.” And He said to me, “It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. I will give of the fountain of the water of life freely to him who thirsts. He who overcomes shall inherit all things, and I will be his God and he shall be My son.--Revelation 21:5-7
I also have 10 resolutions I've been mulling over. Ten resolutions that are really about taking care of myself, my mental health, my emotional health. Resolutions that aren't just about externals or meeting someone's standards or expectations, but what will actually help my soul receive this new thing God is doing.
- I resolve to stop letting comparison pirate my joy. I am steering my ship, not anyone else. Not a friend, or another woman whose strengths are not my own, or a social media influencer. I'm the captain and comparison will have no power of mutiny in 2020.
- I resolve to do more things that bring me joy--without guilt, shame, embarrassment, or even permission. I'm allowed to indulge, to pursue, and to want experiences that fill my soul's cup with brightness. And I am a better person when I'm not longing but enjoying.
- I resolve to spend less time wishing and more time doing. After all, if there's anything the musical Into the Woods has taught me it's that wishes are not always what they seem. Contentment is wise, but must be cultivated and tended regularly. The act of doing, of being gives wishes the forward momentum toward growth while allowing the heart to be content just where it is.
- I resolve to give myself permission to be inadequate and imperfect. Additionally, I resolve to speak kindly to myself when I actually am inadequate and imperfect. If I wouldn't say it that way to a friend, I shouldn't say it to myself. And if I wouldn't expect an unattainable standard from a friend, I shouldn't from myself.
- I resolve to try new things, to keep at it when it's hard, and to ignore the numbers. Attempting a new thing is hard but it's the only way to grow. A child learns to walk, to talk,and to read by daring to try the new thing. When my son learned to walk there were hours of struggle and tears before victory. Now nothing holds him back. In my journey, there will be naysayers and critics, disappointments and frustrations. Those do not define me and success will be in just doing it.
- I resolve to take care of myself and to express my self better. These things so often overlap. I start to feel myself drowning in busyness, mental exhaustion, and general overwhelm but instead of asking for specific help or saying how I feel, I become distraught that no one is offering. What is obvious to me isn't obvious to others because they're focused on other things. And ultimately my self-care is my responsibility. If I need to take better care of myself, that's on me. And if I need to express myself better, that's on me too.
- I resolve to be resilient and gracious when life gets hard. There's no question of if but only when the struggles will arrive. And the real questions isn't how to avoid or end them, but how do I handle it? Freak out, despair, rapid fire text whining? Or deep breaths, prayers unceasing, and rationally trusting in El-Roi, the God who sees? And in His seeing, He knows just what to do and when.
- I resolve to read more books, drink more tea, bake more scones. Simple pleasures that help me remember how to breathe deep, to savor slowly, to unwind gently.
- I resolve to be the mom I want my kids to have. Imperfect because illusions of perfection don't serve them any more than they energize me. But happy and full of faith and unafraid. A mom who models humility and honestly needs Jesus. A mom is who is with them and for them.
- I resolve to reach out more than I withdraw; to create more than I destroy; to hope more than I despair; to welcomes tears of sadness and laughter, both can cleanse the dark parts that build up in my soul. I resolve to keep going, to keep loving. I resolve to let 2020 be what it will be and I will learn more of how to be me.
Gather the Good
[This is not a verbatim transcript from the episode, but more of a recap of what I shared and links, of course, to check it out yourself.]
Music: I finally checked out the worship album Rend Collective made for kids, Sparkle. Pop. Rampage. I had to clean my daughter's room and it took like three or four hours, so I turned on some new tunes to keep me company. I really didn't expect to like this album because now that I'm a 35 year old woman I don't usually love worship music written for kids. But since this is Rend Collective, the lyrics are still thoughtful and deep and important, but there's a little bit of silly and fun too. [Also, they're from Northern Ireland and it's worth listening to just to hear the couple bits where they talk.]
Book: Own Your Life by Sally Clarkson. I read this book last year and I plan on reading it again this year. It's a great book to read at at new year or a new chapter in your life or a new season. Each chapter discusses a theme or issue people, especially women, have in taking full ownership of their own life. She uses the phrase "agency" a lot to explain how we really do have choices and can decide how busy we want to be, how to handle issues, and how to really take ownership of your life. It's a very empowering book. There are questions at the end of each chapter if you like to journal and interact with a book that way too. I highly recommend it! [Last year on her podcast Sally went chapter by chapter through the book as well which was also excellent. Her podcast is called "At Home With Sally". I don't have the specific episode numbers, but I can find them if you just leave a comment.]
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